The “How Not to Write a Game Review” Panel by Dan Amrich
PAX Prime 2012 – September 1, 2012

Example 1 of 3: The writer’s raw copy

Rock Fight III: Tournament Edition

Developer: Bedrock

Publisher: Smash Hits

Platform: Xbox 360

Not since Cain brained Able has there been a game that has been more anticipated. Everyone expected Rock Fight 3 to continue in the long and much accoladed footsteps of Rock Fight 1 and II. The demos, which showcased new weapons and updated graphics, had me frothing at the mouth. But after getting my hands on the final product, I find myself disappointed. Something is missing—sure there are new gadgets, and some old favorites—but braining your opponent with a fist sized hunk of marble doesn’t fill me with the sense of joy that it used to inspire.

Don’t get me wrong, the granite looks incredible—it’s oblivious that there new game engine “limestone” can render delicate marbeling better then ever before. And the sound is good too. But the controls feel a little clunky, and the throw calibration meter isn’t as nuanced as it has been in previous incarnations. Kinect has been added, probably because Microsoft made them do it, and you'd think that would make it easy to control a game like this but it doesn't. During boss battles, enemies can always manage to throw sand in my eyes, but I can never get it to work on them. How is that balanced gameplay?

There are some good parts, though. The tournament ladder system works pretty well, but you need to have at least 16 people on you’re friends list playing the game. If you don’t you have to play with strangers, and it doesn’t skill match very well. In the single player campaign, the enemies are pretty cool, except for the cheesy corner trapping ones. But there are only 17 battles—I beat that in three hours.

Overall, this is an okay game, but really not worth the title Rock Fight. There are better fighting games out there for your money, so you should buy one of those instead, though this might be worth a rental if you are a big Rock Fight fan. Sigh. Maybe the inevitable Rock Fight 4 will be better.

Score: 7.0